Amo

I really don’t know where to start from coz exactly a year ago I was not even affected by this syndrome of LOVE. However within a span of 1year here I am TRULY MADLY DEEPLY in LOVE and don’t know how to come out of it.
My story goes like this-

I started working right after college and in order to earn quick bucks there was no other better place than a BPO.It was 2006 when I joined BPO and it was here that I met my best friend (with whom I fell in love).As long as we were working in Kolkata we were best of pals and we found it very easy to talk about pretty much anything, as it was ok to be ourselves and feel comfortable.
Things changed when when we both moved down to Pune with a better job prospect and as many people would term (specially my mom) staying in the same house with my friend things changed for me. I dnt know when and how I started falling for him and he on the other side just took me as a friend. It was an awful situation when I was attracted to him and all he felt for me was strictly platonic emotions. The mistake that I made was that before jumping to conclusions and thinking that he is attracted to me, so open with me because he likes me — watch out! I was mistaken. I should have realized that I was in the friend zone because he uses to tell me all about his problems. He asked me for advice about the people he was attracted to. He uses to tell me excitedly, “I just met this really great girl!” The more I spend time with him I kept falling head over heals in love with him. Unknowingly I kept falling in love with him and he had given me friend status because I was way too nice, too accommodating and too agreeable but only because I wanted to win him over — and he saw through it. I tried to impress too much. So suggestion for people if you want to win over person you like, don’t try too hard, it might turn them off. My problem was I couldn’t stop acting like his puppy dog and was so available at the drop of a hat. I couldn’t wait a day or two to return one of his phone calls. I couldn’t Be a challenge; to him I became a doormat. Still I didn’t mind being a doormat because it gave me the pleasure and happiness of being with him and to make each moment a special moment for me. However things became different when one fine day he decided to move out of the house as he wanted to leave the job and go back to kolkata.That day it seemed the entire universe came crashing down on me coz truly I didn’t have any clue what my next step should be. He was the world for me and now he only decides to move out without even thinking about me. truly I had no clue how to react and how to make ways for my further stay in pune.those days I had such pathetic feelings that at times I felt like giving up my life but then as great men has put it love is sacrifice and it is selfless I decided to move on and stay with couple of other friends in pune with his memories intact. Suddenly again he surfaces and this time he has changed a lot and somehow I am not able to connect with him. A friend of mine has said that don’t love expecting the same love from him, you should continue to love and one fine day your love will be answered if not by him there will be someone to give the same love that you gave someone. So here I am as day’s passes by and with every second I am falling more in love with him with a prayer on my lips that he should get everything that he wants and he should never ever suffer for love. He should get his love. On a more optimistic note like most of our Hollywood movies which have a happy ending I should also wait for that special someone to come and make me once again fall in love may be with the right person. Since when we are in love we actually fall in love with people who are identically opposite to us and somehow things which we hated earlier are the things that we love in this kind of relationship. I know love makes people look like an idiot. So dear I know you will never ever come to know about my feelings coz urn r to precious for me and I wont share it with you as I fear that I will loose you even as a friend so let my love for you be anonymous.
We never did love each other
But whenever someone mentions love
You rush into my mind.
My soul yearns to unbelong you
Yet you live on in my memories.

I still remember you.

And it’s in such nights
You drive my loneliness away!