“We’re Just Friends”

With the passing of the friendship day I realized one thing and that is friends are an integral part of our life .They have immense importance in our life and they seem to make our life more fulfilling and desirable. However by friends I am not just categorizing girlfriends. Breaking the age old myth that a girl and a boy can never be friends is something that I really don’t believe, debunks the myth that men and women who are friends always end up sleeping together. This was something that was actually established in the movie Harry met Sally but then that is a romantic comedy which was suppose to end up with boy and the girl being together but in real life situation can be different. Not always do we have to have the love angle with our male friend. To tell the truth a tomboy like me could never have done without my male buddy, he lends practical angle to my issues! Yeah girl best friends are always need of the hour but survival without my male buddy would be difficult and I don t agree that we loose hold on them after getting boyfriend ,sum limitations might creep in. Women need male best friends because they’re less emotional than girl best friends when it comes to dealing with already emotional issues. This is good in a way because they lend practicality to situations, a quality that women tend to lack at most times. Girl best friends might further complicate matters by digging deeper and uncovering sub-layers of non-issues. Another popular trait of male best friends is what is known in technical terms as just being more “chiller.” Also, in a purely physical and slightly sexist sense, a male best friend can make one feel more protected and secure. While it’s great sharing every inane triviality with someone you truly care about, it’s just not the same as having a platonic male best friend. One can’t very well tell one’s boyfriend that one’s boyfriend is acting like an insensitive prick. And one can’t ever break up with a male best friend.
Thus a woman and a man can share platonic relationship and they can always remain friends and most women are just wired to need men in some form or the other.

WHEN FRIENDSHIP HURTS

How imp is to maintain friendship is a question something that we new generation people should be thinking or rather asking ourself.Are we really making a relationship called friendship or everything that we are trying to do has a vested interest in it? My recent encounters or things that I came to know about myself from pple I thought were my friends in a far away place has not only shattered me but has also made me think on my ability to understand pple and whether I get carried away with d fact that everyone is good in this world. I really don’t know whether I am rushing into things or being too judgmental or being excessively demanding is something I leave to the people who is going to read my blog. However recently I read an article by a psychologist who divides friends in to three categories-A Casual Friend is a giant step above acquaintance. Although less intimate than close or best friendships, a sense of trust and liking each other that are genuine and shared should be present in a healthy and positive casual friendship. A Close Friend is someone that you are comfortable talking to about your deepest, intimate, thoughts or secrets. A Best Friend will have all the criteria of a close friend, with the additional distinction of being the premiere friend. Trust, Empathy, Honesty, Confidentiality, and Commonality are all important friendship qualities. I guess you get hurt from people who are termed close friend. These category of people are those who can very well turn out to be double-cross who has broken your trust coz u have confided almost every little secret including the dark secret and later you find that those secrets of yours are all ready a subject of gossip among your co-workers and pple around you. They give you confidence when they are around you and make you believe the most unbelievable thing in the world and when you are not there you is subject of criticism among your co-workers and leading the brigade is your close friend. There is no crystal ball to predict that a particular friend will turn out to be a reliable, positive relationship in your life or, by contrast, that a negative association will cause you emotional distress, or worse. It’s an age old believe that human beings are unpredictable and that is also applicable to friends coz they are after all the same evolution of the same species and so the lesson that I learnt is that you should never trust anybody and there is no better and best friend than yourself. Trust yourself and move forward in life. You can be your own guiding self and to exist in this world you don’t need anyone. To make your existence a good one stay away from people coz they can destroy your confidence to the hilt and break you as a person and the worst thing that you do not want to let yourself happen is doubt yourself. Before writing this I was very depressed and for a long time nearly more than 4 hrs I was thinking what wrong I have done by terming someone a friend and expected support from them. Soon I realized that it’s my expectation which has let me down and not my friends. We should never expect anything and then only can relationship survive coz the moment expectation takes it place it leads to false impression and trust are broken and leads to human errors of mixed emotion. So learn to live life full size and move on with people around us without taking special interest in anyone and then life will have any casual friends and one best friend in your parents and life is hassle free and you are spared from the sin of cursing anybody and also from being the topic of instant messenger discussion in office where you are put through character assassination. So I conclude by the word of Dr. Jan Yager “If you save your friendship, avoid dwelling on the resolved rift”.

Inseparable...now no more!

It sometimes seems very strange that people with whom we are so use to at times start behaving so strange that in totality we tend to loose the person that we know.This kind of problem is best explained in situation where there are two friends who are completely inseparable may be during college or school days but once those days are over hardly any one is in contact with each other.This kind of relationship is something which I have come across during my stay in Pune.The instance that I am going to mention is one that of my roommate.
Banani and Mukesh were inseparable all through college. Then suddenly, Mukesh stopped responding to Banani’s calls and vanished from her life. When Banani tried to find out what was wrong, Mukesh was most uncommunicative. So that was the end of that. And Banani hadn’t a clue why. A year later Banani ran into Mukesh and asked what had gone wrong. She was stunned by Mukesh’s response. “She said he felt it was always her who made the effort. Always her who phoned. Always her to remember birthdays. Always her who changed plans to accommodate his plans. Never him,”. Banani was shocked. She had no idea he felt like that.I guess the problem is with guys coz they cannot take their friends or girl friends to be their mother or show the feminine side of them but it’s the same set of people who would adore these qualities when they decide to get married to a girl.(Seriously they are confused lot).However it has been observed(I too have observed in personal life) that women tend to have complicated relationship than men.Male have different ways to deal with ‘slight’ problems, such as always being the one to call, when they do have problems, they tend to deal with them directly.They have a one liner to deal with every situation, “What’s the big deal?”
But what happened between Mukesh and Banani is a classic case of lack of communication. Just like romantic relationships, friendships also throw up issues small and big that must be tackled and negotiated – which means hidden hurts must not be kept hidden. “If issues, however small, are not expressed, talked about and tackled between friends, they can lead to major misunderstandings and sometimes major barriers in friendships,” and long lasting friendship die an unnatural death.So people pick up the phone and sort out all kinds of problem how big or small and don’t let your friend go away from you. The basis of any relationship is communication. But it’s often difficult for us to bring up problems because we’re either scared of confrontation, or afraid of being accused of being over-sensitive. By inhibiting reactions and hiding true emotions, we will never form genuine friendships, with good friends,we tend to share ourself. If we are hurt and we do not share it we are left with that scar always.

However this one is for someone who has appreciated my writing and I guess is the only one who looks forward to read somethimg new from me.This one is for u(I guess u have understtod whom I am referring to)

You are responsible for your own belonging

Till I was 13 I was blissfully ignorant about it. At 17, I had no little or no semblance of it. 21 was when it was fashionable to shirk it. Now, at 23, I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m talking about that 14-letter word that fills every newly inducted adult with a sense of excruciating dread - responsibility.
Ah, those simpler times when responsibility meant doing your homework fast enough so you could play hide and seek with your cousins. Oh, that period of carefree abandon when being irresponsible only meant submitting college projects a week late and inventing creative excuses to cover it up. Alas, no longer can we protect ourselves in the shroud of youth. Responsibility has risen from its murky depths to rear its ugly head and lock horns with it’s arch nemesis - the hapless young adult.
Now we have things like jobs and stuff; heck, we even have a savings account. Taxes to pay crying out loud. No longer do we have gullible professors to answer to; we have hardnosed bosses who see right through the oft foolproof “I have viral flu.” And set different notion which can irritate any girl. Even those kindly parents, who once cleaned our poop without a murmur of protest, shriek if we so much as leave a few clothes lying around the house still that feels good as long as you stay with them coz they still do it even if they shout at you but when you start staying on your own now that’s a whole new level of shit-hitting-the-fan-responsibility.
I think of myself as a fairly responsible person, well, at least amongst my four friends who share the tenacity of being irresponsible. One has a habit of mysteriously losing large wads of cash coz she was too busy thinking about her ex boyfriend or may be writing poems in his memeory; another has made it a point to lose every cell phone he ever owned(today only I had to ask of my office friend to lend her mobile to my friend coz this time his cell is not working but he has made a point to be responsible coz he has not lost a cell phone for the past 6 months). One bunks office at an alarming frequency because he gets too tired of working at a long stretch and wans to go for as long vacation.and another has a prized collection of overdue bills because of endless shopping spree that she indulge into. So, being the “responsible one” out of the four of us is not something I’m particularly proud of.(I think I am practical amongst them and ask my mom she would not nod in agreement,Hope she understands one day)
I’ve often heard people saying that as you grow older, a sense of responsibility comes naturally. Yes, a sense of responsibility does strike but naturally it does not. It’s like fat ankles - you’re stuck with them, you crib about them, but there’s nothing you can do about them.
It’s overwhelming to think of all things I’m responsible for - my career, my money, my parents, my marriage, my future, my life, myself(who forgets that promising word-love). At times, I’m in denial. I run and duck for cover when I see responsibility lurking. I can run, but for how long I hide?(My friend has said inform the people the right think about you)
I wonder and perhaps the 30-aboves can help me with this - do we fear responsibility more or less as we grow older? Is it something we just get over like first crushes? Does it become second nature or does it forever loom like a hydra-headed monster?

The Light Of Friendship

I've seen the light

And it's in you,

In everything you are

And in everything you do.

It's a perfect light

That shines for all to see.

It radiates from youAnd has pierced the heart of me.

The light is from a friend.

It's a light that keeps me warm.

It lets me know how loved I am,

And keeps me safe from harm.To you my friend I am thankful,

In each and every way.For you lift my spirits up,

With every passing day.

To know that you are there for me,

It makes me feel alive.

Because it is your friendship's light,

Upon which my love thrives.

So thank you isn't good enough,

They are the only words I know.I

t is your light of friendship,

That gives my world it's glow.

Thanks for sharing your light with me.

For it is the simple things in life that

Are truly unforgettable.

My work Place

I really don’t know where to begin from. I started working very early in my life. While I was still in college I started giving tuition. Those were fun days for me coz I use to get lot of interesting pple to meet with(some where really strange pple with weird nature).then right after d completion of graduation I started working to earn quick bucks and Business Process Outsourcing(BPO for some and for most of the common masses its d call centre) was the only option. Frankly speaking I didn’t like working in that industry coz somehow I found myself to be different from them. The odd hours of working. The most difficult part was to remain awake at night and then you have mixed bags of pple working with you. Some are graduate some are just school drop out and some are so experienced that they could very well be termed as veteran, however in BPO terms we were all freshers.Somehow I found myself disconnected from the rest of the lot. however when I realized that this is the place where I need to stay and work I started working hard and somehow my feelings which was so far of disgust and hatred changed dramatically into fondness for my work place. I know it might sound strange after what I have mentioned earlier I quite started liking the place the people around me and somehow I gelled so well with everyone around me that I can say I have some of my closest friend from there and the time I spend in Kolkata BPO will be one of the best days of my life. We had so much that I never felt I was working. Everyday was a big picnic for me and I use to look forward when the evening will come and when can I be with my gang. As a career I was making progress but it was a negligible one compared to the progress that my friends have made. they all were getting themselves admitted to any MBA college and here I was working at night and sleeping in the morning. Quite a lifestyle and everyone should get a hang of it at least once. So like my friends it also dawned on me to make some progress in life and then luck smiled on me and I finally got transferred to Wipro Technologies ,Pune.Things cant be better than this for me. I was thrilled and happy and with new dreams in my eyes. Initially everything was very good and life was like a dream for me. However like all good things comes to an end my dream also had to come to an end and now I am in one such work place which sucks to the core. I could never imagine work place can be a battleground kinds where everyone has to prove who is better if that means even implementing the worst things that is possible in the world in the name of change. So today when I am writing this I am amazed at one fact that we can’t get everything at one place. When I was in BPO I had fun but there was no career progression and now when there is career progression there is no fun.The entire atmosphere is polluted at times it becomes difficult to breathe.Hope is that is alive that one day hopefully the environmnet changes and we can mix work with play minus the politics.

Amo

I really don’t know where to start from coz exactly a year ago I was not even affected by this syndrome of LOVE. However within a span of 1year here I am TRULY MADLY DEEPLY in LOVE and don’t know how to come out of it.
My story goes like this-

I started working right after college and in order to earn quick bucks there was no other better place than a BPO.It was 2006 when I joined BPO and it was here that I met my best friend (with whom I fell in love).As long as we were working in Kolkata we were best of pals and we found it very easy to talk about pretty much anything, as it was ok to be ourselves and feel comfortable.
Things changed when when we both moved down to Pune with a better job prospect and as many people would term (specially my mom) staying in the same house with my friend things changed for me. I dnt know when and how I started falling for him and he on the other side just took me as a friend. It was an awful situation when I was attracted to him and all he felt for me was strictly platonic emotions. The mistake that I made was that before jumping to conclusions and thinking that he is attracted to me, so open with me because he likes me — watch out! I was mistaken. I should have realized that I was in the friend zone because he uses to tell me all about his problems. He asked me for advice about the people he was attracted to. He uses to tell me excitedly, “I just met this really great girl!” The more I spend time with him I kept falling head over heals in love with him. Unknowingly I kept falling in love with him and he had given me friend status because I was way too nice, too accommodating and too agreeable but only because I wanted to win him over — and he saw through it. I tried to impress too much. So suggestion for people if you want to win over person you like, don’t try too hard, it might turn them off. My problem was I couldn’t stop acting like his puppy dog and was so available at the drop of a hat. I couldn’t wait a day or two to return one of his phone calls. I couldn’t Be a challenge; to him I became a doormat. Still I didn’t mind being a doormat because it gave me the pleasure and happiness of being with him and to make each moment a special moment for me. However things became different when one fine day he decided to move out of the house as he wanted to leave the job and go back to kolkata.That day it seemed the entire universe came crashing down on me coz truly I didn’t have any clue what my next step should be. He was the world for me and now he only decides to move out without even thinking about me. truly I had no clue how to react and how to make ways for my further stay in pune.those days I had such pathetic feelings that at times I felt like giving up my life but then as great men has put it love is sacrifice and it is selfless I decided to move on and stay with couple of other friends in pune with his memories intact. Suddenly again he surfaces and this time he has changed a lot and somehow I am not able to connect with him. A friend of mine has said that don’t love expecting the same love from him, you should continue to love and one fine day your love will be answered if not by him there will be someone to give the same love that you gave someone. So here I am as day’s passes by and with every second I am falling more in love with him with a prayer on my lips that he should get everything that he wants and he should never ever suffer for love. He should get his love. On a more optimistic note like most of our Hollywood movies which have a happy ending I should also wait for that special someone to come and make me once again fall in love may be with the right person. Since when we are in love we actually fall in love with people who are identically opposite to us and somehow things which we hated earlier are the things that we love in this kind of relationship. I know love makes people look like an idiot. So dear I know you will never ever come to know about my feelings coz urn r to precious for me and I wont share it with you as I fear that I will loose you even as a friend so let my love for you be anonymous.
We never did love each other
But whenever someone mentions love
You rush into my mind.
My soul yearns to unbelong you
Yet you live on in my memories.

I still remember you.

And it’s in such nights
You drive my loneliness away!