WHEN FRIENDSHIP HURTS

How imp is to maintain friendship is a question something that we new generation people should be thinking or rather asking ourself.Are we really making a relationship called friendship or everything that we are trying to do has a vested interest in it? My recent encounters or things that I came to know about myself from pple I thought were my friends in a far away place has not only shattered me but has also made me think on my ability to understand pple and whether I get carried away with d fact that everyone is good in this world. I really don’t know whether I am rushing into things or being too judgmental or being excessively demanding is something I leave to the people who is going to read my blog. However recently I read an article by a psychologist who divides friends in to three categories-A Casual Friend is a giant step above acquaintance. Although less intimate than close or best friendships, a sense of trust and liking each other that are genuine and shared should be present in a healthy and positive casual friendship. A Close Friend is someone that you are comfortable talking to about your deepest, intimate, thoughts or secrets. A Best Friend will have all the criteria of a close friend, with the additional distinction of being the premiere friend. Trust, Empathy, Honesty, Confidentiality, and Commonality are all important friendship qualities. I guess you get hurt from people who are termed close friend. These category of people are those who can very well turn out to be double-cross who has broken your trust coz u have confided almost every little secret including the dark secret and later you find that those secrets of yours are all ready a subject of gossip among your co-workers and pple around you. They give you confidence when they are around you and make you believe the most unbelievable thing in the world and when you are not there you is subject of criticism among your co-workers and leading the brigade is your close friend. There is no crystal ball to predict that a particular friend will turn out to be a reliable, positive relationship in your life or, by contrast, that a negative association will cause you emotional distress, or worse. It’s an age old believe that human beings are unpredictable and that is also applicable to friends coz they are after all the same evolution of the same species and so the lesson that I learnt is that you should never trust anybody and there is no better and best friend than yourself. Trust yourself and move forward in life. You can be your own guiding self and to exist in this world you don’t need anyone. To make your existence a good one stay away from people coz they can destroy your confidence to the hilt and break you as a person and the worst thing that you do not want to let yourself happen is doubt yourself. Before writing this I was very depressed and for a long time nearly more than 4 hrs I was thinking what wrong I have done by terming someone a friend and expected support from them. Soon I realized that it’s my expectation which has let me down and not my friends. We should never expect anything and then only can relationship survive coz the moment expectation takes it place it leads to false impression and trust are broken and leads to human errors of mixed emotion. So learn to live life full size and move on with people around us without taking special interest in anyone and then life will have any casual friends and one best friend in your parents and life is hassle free and you are spared from the sin of cursing anybody and also from being the topic of instant messenger discussion in office where you are put through character assassination. So I conclude by the word of Dr. Jan Yager “If you save your friendship, avoid dwelling on the resolved rift”.